How to Go From One Step
To The Next…
From The First Meeting
To The Bedroom
Critical Moments And Bridges
How to Go From One Step To The Next With Women -
The First Meeting to the Bedroom
I spent some time with my family this yuletide and decided not to post any updates but I feel disconnected from my pride and cubs. So now am back with a couple of notes I gathered and would love to share with you.
When I first started learning about how to meet women, I realized that
there were some major 'problem areas' that I had to deal with.
After learning how to handle them myself, I realized that almost ALL
men have these same stumbling blocks. Here I hope to help you see these
areas and improve the ones that you need help with.
To begin with, let me explain what I mean by a 'Critical Moment.'
These are the moments in time where you have to do something to
advance to the next level.
For instance: If you're with a woman and you're having a great
conversation, you might want to take the relationship to a physical level.
Most men I know are not sure how to 'transition' into this next phase.
Or let's say you see a woman that you'd like to meet, and you have to
decided whether or not you're going to walk over and say hello. This is a
critical moment. If you don't do it, you probably won't get another chance.
I know one guy who meets a lot of women. Women really seem to like
him when they first meet him. He can get dates, and get them to come
home with him. But every time he tries to get physical with a woman, she
decides that it's time to leave.
I know another guy who meets women everywhere we go. Women just
love him. They laugh and joke with him. But he never asks any of them for
their phone number, so he doesn't date any of them.
The problem with Critical Moments is that they almost ALWAYS require
the man to take initiative and do something that can be REJECTED by the
woman. For instance, walking up and saying hello, asking for a date, kissing
In all of these situations, a man has to go through the possibility of
rejection. This keeps most men from even trying. And most guys have at
least one or two areas that they're not confident about.
If you're not confident and know exactly where you're going and what
you're doing, you're going to be likely to make a mistake, say something
wrong, and cause the woman to reject you at one of these important turning
The danger, of course, is that if a man makes a mistake at one of these
key times that offends the woman, she may decide to leave.
Every new relationship is like a complex puzzle. You can make it
through many steps, then make a mistake and have it all fall apart. Are you
Here's my list of the Critical Moments:
1. Approach (Walking over and saying hello)
2. Digits (Getting a phone number, email address, etc.)
3. Date request (This can actually be done when you first meet)
4. Date (The actual time with her)
5. Hold hands (The first sustained physical contact)
6. Kiss (The first 'intimate' contact)
7. Alone in private (Trust)
8. Make out (Sexually aroused)
9. Clothes off (Very sexually aroused)
10. Sex (Very very very sexually aroused!)
As far as I'm concerned, if a person needs improvement in an area of
life, they usually need to learn a new SKILL. Too many people make the
mistake of thinking that something's wrong with them, and that they'll never
be able to overcome their obstacle. Just remember, it's all about learning a
new skill to overcome each obstacle.
So I've taken each of these different Critical Moments and created what
I call a 'Bridge' for each.
Let me explain what a Bridge is.
Before each Critical moment, there are certain things that happen.
These often set up the Critical Moment that is about to follow.
For instance, if you're talking to a woman on the telephone, and you
want to ask her for a coffee date, what happens on that phone call will
largely determine whether or not she meets you.
Or if you are on a date, and you'd like to kiss her, her mood and level of
enjoyment is going to determine whether or not she's going to be receptive
to a kiss.
The times 'between' Critical Moments are Bridges. If you set up the
critical moment correctly, you will be much more likely to be successful than
if you don't. If you learn all of my 'Bridge Strategies' this will help you move
smoothly from one Critical Moment to the next.
And the best part about some of my Bridge techniques is that they
CAUSE HER to take the initiative and go to the next level. For instance, if
you're alone with a woman who you've already kissed, and you'd like to
make out with her, you can use my 'smelling her' technique.
By taking a few minutes and smelling her neck and shoulders, she'll
usually get so turned on that she grabs you and makes out with you right
there! (Of course, you'll want to push her away and tease her a bit, because
this will amplify her desire even more - and it will be fun for both of you!)
Probably the most important Bridge is between talking and getting
physical. Most men just don't know how to advance to a physical level. But
I'm getting ahead of myself here. More later.
Bridge To #1, The Approach
Probably the most important concept that I should emphasize on because here in Africa it’s a big problem and guys have a lot of faulty starts.
The fact is that nowadays women are very sensitive to any 'lines' that
sound canned or corny. The way to meet women is to walk over and start a
normal conversation (not to hiss or whistle to them like they are ho’s or whores or even some animal you control at your own whim). If you've learnt from the best, you know it's not a good idea to give too many compliments early on. But it's fine to say "Hi, I
just wanted to tell you... you have great shoes" etc. and then start talking.
The key is, do something NORMAL.
Women have an instant resistance to men who
try to be 'slick.' So don't do it.
Now, what's the key to being calm and normal?
The key is confidence and poise. You have to learn how to be confident
in these situations.
I was surprised to find out that most women are actually pretty nice
when you approach them. Especially if you're not acting like a stalker or a
guy who hasn't been with a woman in 10 years.
But for now, just realize that this is a
Critical Moment, and you need to learn how to handle it. If you don't get this
one handled, all the rest are irrelevant.
Bridge To #2, Getting Digits
The key to this Bridge is to learn how to be interesting and funny. In due time you'll read about the 'Cocky and Funny' concept that I
learned from a good friend.
This makes conversations interesting to women.
The next part is to know EXACTLY what you're going to say and
EXACTLY how you're going to say it. I say "Do you have email?" If they say
'Yes' then I treat that like a yes that they'll give it to me, and give them a
pen. Then, WHILE THEY'RE IN THE MIDDLE OF WRITING I say "And go
ahead and write down your number there too." It comes across natural and
smooth. But you have to learn the words and mentally rehearse to get it
perfect. So do that.
Bridge To #3, The Date Request
The idea here is to keep up the Cocky and Funny personality that you
Will learn soon enough in my next post, and add the other magic ingredient: The
When you talk to a woman about meeting for coffee or lunch etc. it's
important to say "Well, let's get together and make FRIENDS. If nothing
else, you sound like you might make a nice FRIEND." The psychology behind
this is “Most women can't believe that a man could actually be interested in getting to know them as a friend. And it also causes them to say "Hmmm... I wonder if he's attracted to me?" This works in your favor. You have to learn the words and practice, but this will really pay off for you. Learn the Friendship Frame.
Bridge To #4, The Date
When you're preparing to meet a woman for the first 'Date' (and this
can be just for tea (coffee for me), to go for a walk, watch a movie... whatever) you need to do a few key things. You MUST be as clean as possible.
I recommend washing 3 times in the shower (lol), and using a
nice light cologne. Wear clean, comfortable clothes, etc. Brush the teeth, use
floss and mouthwash. You have to make a good impression. Most guys that
have problems at this stage are trying too hard. It's a paradox, but you have
to stay very cool and calm when you first meet a woman - and act almost
indifferent. This quality is attractive to women.
Bridge To #5: Holding Hands
I personally think that it's a good idea to hold a woman's hand for
awhile before kissing, etc. This conveys to the woman that you are a warm,
friendly person, and someone she can trust.
The interesting thing about hand holding is that men think that hand
holding means "She wants to have sex" and women think that it means "Oh,
he's a nice guy."
Once you're holding hands, it's very easy to move to kissing, etc.
I recommend learning a few good 'cold reading' methods. These can be anything from palmistry to handwriting analysis to astrology. Women LOVE this stuff.
An important one to learn is Palmistry, as it leads to you touching her hands! If you then learn a bit about hand massage and reflexology, you can naturally lead into a discussion about hands and pressure points, and start to give her a hand massage right there. When you're finished, you just keep holding her hand. It works so perfectly.
I've shown this to several of my buddies - and they LOVE IT. It is so smooth and nice for a woman.
Bridge To #6: Kissing
I don’t know a lot about this one (my girlfriend can confirm) but I'm quite good in the theoretical.
If I've been talking to a girl, and I want to know if she's ready to be kissed, I'll reach over and touch her hair while we're talking and make a comment about it. I'll say "Your hair looks so soft" and just touch the tips of
It .If she smiles and appears to like what she's hearing, I then reach back over and start stroking it again while talking to her. If she likes this, I know that she would be receptive to a kiss.
Now, this may sound simple, but I've done something very sophisticated from the WOMAN'S perspective. After years of research and experience, I've learned that women like to have the idea that they are IN
CONTROL of the situation.
By using The Kiss Test (tell you about it later) I've been kind and complimentary, but by being very SUBTLE about it, I haven't given her anything she can object to.
You can imagine that if you've just finished holding her hand for a while, this is almost natural!
I think that the car is a great place for a first kiss...
Bridge To #7: Being Alone With Her
This Bridge is all about trust.
If she trusts you, and feels safe, she'll be OK with the idea of being
alone with you. Do you see how everything fits together? Each step flows
smoothly into the next.
Here's what I do:
it's important to not seem too eager for anything. I like to have a woman meet me at my place, then leave from there to go out for drinks. Then, when we come back, I look at my watch
and say "Well... OK, you can come in for a minute."
This is great, because it kind of makes it seem like she was trying to
talk me into it! Because I don't seem too anxious, she'll usually say "OK."
Other ways you can do this are by telling her that you want her to meet
Your dog (no… not that one) or telling her about something you want to show her (again, not that - save that for later). If you talked about your art
collection at the bar, then it's natural for her to come see it. Remember, the
key here is TRUST. So be trustworthy.
Bridge To #8: Making Out
Once you're inside (your place or hers) you need to Bridge into making
out. Just because a woman kisses you, it doesn't mean that she's hot for
your body right then and there. You have to help her work up to that.
Men are on/off switches, and women are volume knobs (remember?). So work on this one slowly and with patience.
The first thing to do is NOTHING. You need to take 10 or 15 minutes
and sit back and be only interested in talking (or listening better still, if she’s the talking type). As a matter of fact, sit far away from her, or lean back if you're next to her. This sends the message that you're not just horning in for the kill. (Hey, you can actually have an interesting conversation if you want, it's OK).
Next, when you've both shared a nice laugh together, and the energy is good, reach back over and give her another kiss.
This time, whisper in her ear that she smells really good. Then start to smell her neck and shoulders. This one is a time bomb!
If you can learn to just smell a woman's neck and shoulders for about
10 minutes WITHOUT KISSING HER you will blow her mind. Women LOVE to be smelled (when they know they ARE clean oh! Don’t go smelling a street girl or AN OTIGBA JUNCTION 8 HOURS GIRL!!! After she’s had different men mount and suck her before you that day….it will disgust them cause they know they’re unclean), and it instantly turns them on.
I'm about to teach you a couple of killer moves, so get ready.
In the animal kingdom, different animals have different signals that tell the other that they're interested. When some of these signals are sent by the male, the females actually BECOME PARALYSED and freeze in a sexually
Women have this same mechanism... shhhhhhh!
Here are the things that trigger it:
1. Pulling her hair gently (run your hand up the back of her neck into
her hair, then make a fist and pull lightly).
2. Biting her neck gently (no Dracula here, just lightly).
3. Breathing in her ear and whispering.
4. Kissing her neck.
If you take some time smelling her, she will start to get turned on. Then it's time to try one of the above to take her to the next level! This is when you can start gently rubbing her breasts, etc. and go with some heavy petting.
Bridge To #9: Clothes Off
I have found that many women are shy, self-conscious, and nervous about taking their clothes off. If you know how to overcome this, it will obviously help you have more sex.
I just mentioned a few techniques for making a woman literally paralyzed with stimulation. Here's where you want to really turn up the volume. It's time to use these one after another.
Compliments also work well at this point. Since most women are self-conscious about their bodies, a simple "I think you have such a sexy body" will work wonders. Women often need to know that you find them attractive.
Now you can start taking off the clothes... first shirt, then bra, then pants... etc. Go slowly, and if she stops you, just take that as a signal that you need to keep up the smelling, neck kissing, ear breathing, etc.
NEVER keep going if a woman says "Stop." But stop doesn't usually mean "Stop and go away," it usually means "Stop, I need you to turn me on some more."
(I hate to have to do this, but there are some men who don't get it, so... don't force yourself on women! If she's not into you, leave. Don't be a dumb-ass, and don't date rape women!)
So just keep talking sexy to her, kissing, etc. Then try again. The more turned on she gets, the more the clothes come off. But if she’s on she’s on her period….sorry oh.
Bridge To #10: Sex
The most important part of the Bridge to sex is being prepared!
Sometimes a guy will ask me "What do I do once I get her back to my place?"
I ask them "Do you keep your bed made?" and "Do you have condoms in the house?"
Usually, I can find at least one thing that would make it almost impossible for them to succeed with a woman!
So be ready! Buy condoms, make sure your house is neat, bed is made and your house is empty…privacy counts... be prepared! Think through what is going to have to happen in order for you to follow through once a woman is there and the situation is right.
Ok... on to the specifics:
I've personally found that if you get a woman turned on enough, she'll take the initiative and signal that she's ready.
This signal can be anything from rubbing her hips against you to grabbing your crotch, etc. I don't like to push women... I like them to get so turned on that they say "Please." And I'm not kidding!
I learned from a friend that if you start, then stop, then start, then stop... she'll get REALLY turned on. So do that! Women love a challenge, and if you can be a challenge in this area, then you're the man!
So kiss her body for a while, then stop. Then kiss her neck. Then stop.
Then breathe in her ear... then stop. You get it. If you're patient, she'll eventually do something blatant that says "OK, enough! I'm ready!"
So now you understand the concept of Critical Moments and Bridges.
I encourage you to take a few minutes right now and write down where you need improvement. Then take the time to learn the SKILLS you need to do better in those areas. I know it can be done. You just have to do it!
I hope you've enjoyed this and learned from it.
I’ll talk to you again soon…
Pls comment and share.
Mail me your questions and success stories so others can share from your experiences on firstname.lastname@example.org or email@example.com
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