Sometimes Women Ask Stupid Questions which in my Opinion should be rhetorical
But HEY! why spoil the fun when we can be as annoying in our answers as they are in their questions
or even more.
comment and add yours!
WHY ARE MEN SUCH JERKS?
It's a testosterone thing. Much similar to your PMS thing,
we men suffer from testosterone poisoning. Why do you think
the average life span of a male is typically 10 years shorter
(and it's not just from all the bitching and nagging we have
to endure)? Hormones modifies behavior. We're just misunderstood.
WHY DO MEN ALWAYS HAVE TO OGLE AT OTHER WOMEN?
Again, this is a testosterone thing. Do you honestly think
that all the testosterone just fell out of our bodies the moment
we met you? Besides, women do it as well. Women are just much
better at not getting caught. I'm fairly certain it's some sort
of photographic memory deal. Women take one quick look and memorize
it for later reference. Since men lack this ability, we try to
burn it into our memory by staring as much as we can.
WHY DO MEN ALWAYS TOUCH THEMSELVES, ESPECIALLY IN PUBLIC?
We occasionally need to adjust our little friend and make him
happy. It's much like adjusting your bra. Being in public is
just an added bonus. No offence to you Nedu danzprinz.
WHY DO MEN ALWAYS SAY SUCH STUPID THINGS?
We like to. It's actually a whole lot of fun to see our partner
frustrated by a few simple (and well chosen) words.
WHY ARE MEN SO UNCOMMUNICATIVE?
You'd learn to keep your big mouth shut too if every time you
open it you get into trouble with your partner.
WHY DO MEN HAVE TO ACT LIKE SUCH RETARDS?Well, we don't actually have to; we do it because we enjoy it.
It's the old fashioned pride in a job well done that's missing
in so much of the world nowadays. Farting is another fun thing
for men!!
WHY CAN'T MEN JUST SHARE THEIR FEELINGS?
Do we look like women to you? Why is it so hard to understand
that men and women are different? How are we supposed to share
how we feel when we have no idea how we feel? Unless we're
experiencing some extreme emotion like rage, hatred, disgust,
or a brick on our foot, we have no idea how we feel. Personally,
I get a headache whenever I try to figure out how I feel.
WHY CAN'T MEN CUDDLE MORE (I.E., LIE DOWN AND HUG)?
Please ... How many hours do you think there is in a day? We
oblige you as much as we can, but who the hell (besides women)
can stand lying around for hours on end? (hmmm...Amara)
... Now sitting on our asses for hours on end (pressing my lappy) on the other hand
is a whole other story.
HOW CAN MEN SIT ON THEIR ASSES ALL DAY WITHOUT MOVING?
Men have very powerful sets of sitting muscles developed by
evolution that enable us to sit for extended periods of time
without getting tired. In prehistoric times, it was often
necessary to sit in one spot for extended periods of time while
hunting for prey. The more successful hunters were able to sit
very still for very extended periods of time thereby passing
on this ability to their progeny. The fidgety types were all
gobbled up by saber toothed tigers etc. The end result is that
almost all modern men are born with this innate ability.
WHY CAN'T MEN JUST SAY "I LOVE YOU?"
Men are taught from a tender young age to be self-sufficient.
To say that we love you is equivalent to saying that we need you.
Most men consider that a character fault. It's not easy to admit
to one's own character faults.
WHY DO MEN SAY "I LOVE YOU" WHEN THEY HARDLY KNOW ME?
Ho, Ho, Ho ... Aren't you special? Well, some men think it's
a sure fire way to get into your pants. Surprisingly, it actually
still works quite well.
WHY DOESN'T MY PARTNER EVER ANSWER ME?
We just simply don't have the energy to answer every single
one of your questions. If we think we do not have the answer,
or that you will not like the answer, we simply remain quiet
and save the energy for other things.
WHY WON'T MEN EVER PICK UP AFTER THEMSELVES?
Why should we? It doesn't really bother us that much. Besides,
we know darn well you'll pick it up.
WHAT'S WITH ALL THE BELCHING AND FARTING?
This usually only occurs after months of courting. It's our way
to let you know that we're comfortable with you. Believe it or
not, it's actually a sign of affection. Besides, holding it for
extended periods of time gives us stomach cramps.
WHY DO MEN HATE SHOPPING?
It's an evolutionary thing. Men hunt. Women gather. We just want
to go out, kill it, and bring it back. Who wants to spend hours
and hours to look at things we have no intention of killing?
Err ... buying?
We just go to Nza Bush House or Brifina and POINT AND KILL!!!! for fun.
Hahahahah!!!! I had madt fun! did you? Then Add yours via comment and i'll
update it.
Your Friend
Leonhart
follow me on twitter @chrisxleonhart
facebook : chrisking leonhart
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I LOVE THIS, keep it up.
ReplyDeleteThis is the funniest piece iv read in 2012. Dude u must go into comedy and female counselling. A master piece
ReplyDeleteWhy do men always want to be in control?
ReplyDeletebecause its our birth right and like they say ...."its a mans world"
Delete