THE INNER GAME: OVERCOMING THE FEAR OF REJECTION 2

We were supposed to talk about the INNER GAME. okay.....
 Let’s get started…
1. USE FEAR TO YOUR ADVANTAGE
Can you remember the last time you approached an attractive woman you wanted to meet?
Can you remember how just thinking about it sent a SURGE of fear and excitement all throughout your body?
Well guess what?
ALL men feel this same fear when they approach a woman!
The difference between guys that are amazing at approaching women and guys that can’t approach women at all is WHAT THEY DO WITH THIS FEAR.
If you think about it, you really only have two choices: 

(A) You can let it DESTROY you… and your chances of meeting a woman and having a great relationship.

(B). You can let it MOTIVATE you… and increase your chances of meeting the women you desire
What I’m trying to say here is that guys that are GREAT at approaching women and starting up conversations use this fear to their advantage.
 
Think about it this way…
People spend TONS of money on things like surfing, roller coasters, and jumping out of airplanes.
Isn’t it great that you can get that same rush of excitement by simply going out today and approaching some attractive women?  “Anything that gets your blood racing is probably worth doing.”
So the next time you see an attractive woman you want to meet and you feel that nervous excitement creeping up… ENJOY IT… and make something happen!

2. TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS AND BE YOURSELF

Many men will put on an “act” when they approach a woman as an EGO-DEFENSE mechanism.
That way if the woman happens to reject them, they can blame their rejection on the “act” or the “line”… instead of placing the blame where it should be… on themselves.
Now, what these guys FAIL to realize is that the very act of “putting on an act” is often the CAUSE of their rejection in the first place 
It’s no secret that women are very perceptive… especially attractive women who get hit on DOZENS of times each day.
They can smell a fraud from a mile away… and if that fraud is YOU… you’re going down.
Now, here’s a secret that woman know but men don’t:
It takes A LOT more courage to be YOURSELF than it does to approach a woman with an “act” or a “line” that ISN’T you.
And if you do approach a woman as YOURSELF and in a genuine and confident way, you will almost NEVER get rejected, because she will see the courage and confidence behind it.
Now… this doesn’t mean you shouldn’t use a great line that you learned somewhere else.
As a matter of fact… you should… especially when you’re first getting started.
But think of the lines and techniques you learn as “training wheels”… and make it your goal to come up with some of your very own techniques that work for YOU and fit your personality.

3. POWER THROUGH "FALSE" REJECTION
Another interesting point  is that women are often “programmed” to reject men.
Think about it.

An attractive woman gets hit on by losers day in and day out.
Pretty soon “rejection” becomes an automatic response.
It turns into a screening system… with the initial rejection as a test. Only guys who can GET PAST the initial rejection survive.
Now… not ALL women are like this. But here’s a little secret about those who are:
These women are used to meeting guys who “can’t take the heat”. They meet HUNDREDS of men who “wuss out” to every ONE that “makes the cut.”
And because of this… once you get past her initial rejection, she will see you as a RARE commodity.
To put it simply… YOU ARE IN.
A great example of this took place in the movie “Gone With The Wind”
In it, Scarlet was not being nice to Rhett Butler… but he took it all in good faith… because he KNEW it was just an act… and that deep down she was totally in love with him.
Take this same stance when you meet a woman with “attitude”.
Come from the position that you KNOW what it’s like to be her… and that you know she has to weed out the losers somehow… AND that you know if she opened her eyes she’d fall for you in a second.
Don’t actually voice this to her… but let it shine through in your actions.
Give her a second chance to give you a second chance… and soon YOU… being the RARE find that you are… will be the one in control.

4. BECOME AN INTERESTING GUY
the single most important thing you can do in your life—both for yourself, and when it comes to attracting women—is to become an interesting guy.

The easiest way to do this is to “err on the side of action”.
What that means is to take advantage of every opportunity that comes your way.
If you come to a fork in the road, take it.
If you are deciding whether or not to take a trip, go!
Deciding whether to eat somewhere new or go to your same old favorite spot? Try something new!
The more you do this the more you will enrich your life with experiences… and gain wisdom and knowledge that make women want to know more about you.
And the more experiences you have, the more interesting things you will have to talk about with women… and the more likely you will be to relate to something they have done.
For example, when she says, “That reminds me of a place in Enugu” you can say, “Oh yeah… I know what you mean”.
When she tells you she loves Chinese food you can tell her about that wonderful little place you discovered that day when you decided to drive PAST your favorite spot and find something new.
Remember… we never regret the things we do… only the things we haven’t done.
Start to live this every single day, and you’ll be amazed at just how quickly women notice.

5. LEAD THE WAY
Here’s another newsflash for you: Women HATE to make decisions.
You know how they say that women constantly change their minds about everything?
Well it’s absolutely true.
Women can make decisions… but they don’t like to… which is exactly why women LOVE a man who is decisive.
Decisiveness is a MALE trait. And to a woman, there is nothing more manly than a guy who knows what he wants… and is confident enough to BE A MAN and lead her to do things and go places he knows are fun and exciting.
When a man does this, it gives her a sense of stability and security that she longs for… and puts her at ease by taking the burden of making a decision off of her plate.
Unfortunately, many men are AFRAID to do this, because they fear that a woman won’t be happy with the decisions they make.
We’ve all made this mistake at one time or another… and gotten into one of those, “I don’t know… what do YOU want to do?” conversations that woman HATE.
But … in romance, as in dancing, a man must lead with a firm and gentle hand.
Remember this every time you are talking to a woman from now on.
If you’re going somewhere to eat, tell her you know of a great such and such restaurant. If she objects, don’t say, “Well where do you want to go?” …simply suggest another one.
Your decisiveness—which translates into “manliness”—plays a HUGE role in whether or not SHE decides to sleep with you. So give her what she wants by gently leading her where you want.
She’ll thank you for it.

6. NEVER BE AFRAID TO "WALK"
One of the biggest differences between guys who are REALLY successful with women and guys who are just moderately successful is that the “pros” are ALWAYS willing to “walk away”.
People don’t value what they don’t have to work for… and if a woman knows that you will be around and willing no matter what she does, then SHE has the power and control.
This “exchange of power” starts from the moment you meet a woman.
A woman can tell as soon as you walk up to her whether you “care” or not if it goes well.
If she can sense that you “only have eyes for her”, she won’t have any reason to try to impress you… because she knows that you have already made up your mind about her…
On the other hand, if she senses that you are just out having fun and will leave in an instant if she says or does something you don’t agree with, she will be on her best behavior to try and impress YOU and keep you around.
It’s ironic in how it works… but it’s absolutely true.
So the key here is to avoid the “scarcity” mindset at all costs.
Know that there is ALWAYS another hot woman waiting around the corner… and be selective when deciding to stick with the one you’re with, or move on.
When you really internalize the attitude that YOU are the selector, it will come across in everything you do… AND… cause every woman you meet to WORK to hold your attention.

7. PROTECT YOUR WOMAN
A very simple way to let your woman know that she is in the hands of a real man is to be chivalrous when you are out to town.
Hold doors open for her, and always be sure to walk on the outside of the curb.
If some shady people come across your path, position yourself between them and her.
This is all simple stuff… but you’d be surprised at how many men forget it completely.
But this is… of course… good news for you because guys who DO remember this stuff and practice it are handsomely rewarded

8. MAKE YOUR MOVE
Did you know that women HATE when a guy they are attracted to DOESN’T make a move?
Yes… in some cases you can use this to build anticipation and make her want you more… but eventually you MUST take the initiative and make something happen.
When a woman is really into a guy and he doesn’t try to sleep with her, it makes her feel LESS ATTRACTIVE.... believe me, I've been a victim, unfortunately now that i know whats up....shes married (hmm C.J)
She also worries that YOU might not have the confidence to make a move… which makes YOU look less attractive.
Combine these two things together and the result is not good.
Remember this:
She IS NOT going to do it for you. “If YOU take off a woman’s pants, she feels sexy… but if she has to take off HER OWN pants, she feels like a slut.”
Which option do you think a woman would rather take?
Now… just because you make a move does not mean she’s going to give in and sleep with you on the first night.
But she definitely wants you to TRY.
So don’t let her down. Don’t be a wuss. Make a move!

9. LIONS DATING SYSTEM
unique system for setting up dates with women.
The best part about it is how i actually get women to ASK ME OUT when i am talking to them on the phone!
Here’s how i do it:
simply call a woman up and talk in detail about an interesting and exciting thing am planning on doing.
A few examples are picnicking at the local beach..... bumper car riding at the park..., going to happy hour (8 hours) with friends, and going to a “secret” hang out where they make the best roasted fish.
Somewhere along the way the woman will say, “That sounds fun”… or even better… “Can I come?” or “I want to go!”
And what kind of man would I be to turn her down?
Another great thing about this system is what I do if they DON’T hint or ask to join me. I simply say “bye” and that I'll talk to them later.
This seems simple… but in reality it’s VITALLY important.
Because i didn’t end the conversation with a “next step”… like “I’ll call you later this week” or “call me when you want to hang out”… either person can call the other WITHOUT giving up their power.
Think about it…
If at the end of a phone call you say to a woman, “Call me this Saturday” and she DOESN’T call… then you are giving up your power if you call her again.
Along those same lines, if you end a call with “I’ll give YOU a call on Saturday”, she can’t call you until you call her first without giving up HER power.
On the other hand, if you end the call with “I’ll talk to you later” and later that night she happens to feel like getting together, she is totally free to call you up.
And… if you end a call with “I’ll talk to you later” you can call her again whenever YOU feel like it without looking like a wuss.
And if the next time you call her it doesn’t go anywhere… but you end that call without a “next step”… you can call her again whenever you want.
Here’s the bottom line:
If you end every call like this, you can KEEP ON calling her until she asks you out.
But based on my experiences, after you call a woman a couple of times and tell her about interesting things you are doing, even if she can’t meet with you that day, she will call you when she can… because she’ll assume you’ll be doing something fun.
In fact, if you just remember these two keys to phone conversations, you’ll be amazed at how often women CALL YOU UP to ask you to hang out.
Here they are again:
1. Talk about interesting things you are doing
2. Don’t end the call with a “next step”… simply say “I’ll talk to you later”.
Be sure to write these down somewhere. This is important stuff.
A Few Other Quick Points…
Another great point is to tell a woman what to wear when she is meeting up with you.
I do this myself, and I highly recommend it. Women find it to be a huge turn on… and it will get her thinking about you all day! I also like to take a woman on a date where they will get dirty or sweaty so I can invite them back to my place to take a shower. I love it!
These are a few real world techniques i just shared with you. I hope you enjoyed them… and most of all… I hope you USE THEM.
Be sure to read my articles several times till it enters
There are a lot of little subtleties in this post that are very important… and while I tried to point them all out in this post, it would definitely be worth your time to read it again and take some notes. … it will make your life a whole lot easier.
 
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Your Friend,
Leonhart